A Story of Hope
I am 31 years old and have 8 children. At a young age, I started doing drugs and prostituting to get by and to feed my addiction. I met my boyfriend and he made me feel good about what I was doing. An addict himself, he liked the money so he didn’t judge me. One day I got a call unknowingly from the police and was arrested for drug trafficking. This left my boyfriend with our two youngest children at the time. Life’s stresses of being an addict and being a single parent took a toll on him. I found out that my boyfriend and his friends were smoking weed one day with my kids in the same room. One of his friends backhanded someone so the police were called. Due to the fact, my boyfriend was already on probation our kids were taken by CPS. After being released from jail, I felt very alone for the first time. I started doing meth again and went straight back to my dealer.
Growing up, I didn’t have a dad I could count on for anything. He was in jail most of my life. He tries from time to time to connect now but I have learned that he just brings me down and is bad news. My mom is here in town and has seen me through all the stages. She is only supportive if I am clean and making good decisions. She helps me take care of my two youngest children right now and is proud of me for being at STEP2.
I am most grateful for my aunt but without meaning to she enabled me by raising my 6 older children. In fact, for the first time right now I’m learning to be a parent. I want to be able to have a relationship with my older kids but I need to prepare myself for the possibility of rejection at first.
Before coming to STEP2, my two youngest children were in foster care and I was told that I had little chance of getting them back. I felt so awful about this news that I went and got high. My social worker told me if I wanted a chance, to go to STEP2. I got on a bus and walked in without an appointment. My aunt wouldn’t take my other 2 kids so this time was different. I knew I needed to do something because I had already made my kids live this crazy life. I was so scared but I worked so hard. I got to a point where I didn’t want my old life back…greasy old men…I didn’t want that anymore. I can feel it working and I have learned that no one is more important than me.
Today, I’m going to school and I have a job. I got my kids back and my CPS case is closed. My case closed last July and I still call my CPS worker to check in and let her know how we are doing, which is great because of STEP2.
*Names have been changed